Grief is not just the loss of a loved one. We experience grief from divorce, job loss, good friends moving away. Grief is an overwhelming sense of loss in our lives.
Denial, numbness, shock
This stage serves to protect us from experiencing the intensity of the loss. Numbness is a normal reaction to immediate loss and should not be confused with "lack of caring" As we acknowledge the impact of the loss, denial and disbelief should diminish.
Bargaining
This may involve persistent thoughts about what could have been done differently to prevent the loss. If a person doesn't work through this stage they can experience intense feelings of guilt and remorse.
Anger
We often feel angry when we feel helpless and powerless. Anger can also stem from a feeling of abandonment through divorce, a loved ones death or job loss.
Acceptance
In time we may be able to come to terms with the various feelings and accept the fact that a loss has occurred. Healing can begin once the loss becomes integrated into our life experiences.
There is no time limit on the grief process and everyone experiences grief in their own way and in their time frame.
Factors that hinder healing
Overworking oneself on the job
Abusing drugs, alcohol or other substances
Compulsive behavior
Avoiding emotions
Minimizing feelings
Factors that may help with healing
Allowing time to experience thoughts and feelings openly to yourself
Writing in a journal and expressing emotions
Crying can be a release
Confiding in others you trust about your feelings of pain and loss
Acknowledging and accepting both the negative and the positive feelings
Grief support groups
Seek professional help through counseling
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Symptoms
Feelings lasting more than two weeks:
Sadness, anxious, empty
Feeling hopeless or pessimistic
Feeling guilty, worthless or helpless
Not enjoying things you used to enjoy
Trouble with concentration, memory or making decisions
Sleeping too much or too little
Changes in appetite
Weight gain or weight loss
Feeling restless or irritable
Thoughts of suicide or death
If you have at least five of these symptoms you may be battling major depression. Seek help immediately!
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-4
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven; a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck what has been planted; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.