Grief

 

 

 

Grief is not just the loss of a loved one. We experience grief from divorce, job loss, good friends moving away.  Grief is an overwhelming sense of loss in our lives.


Stages of Grief

Denial, numbness, shock

This stage serves to protect us from experiencing the intensity of the loss.  Numbness is a normal reaction to immediate loss and should not be confused with "lack of caring" As we acknowledge  the impact of the loss, denial and disbelief should diminish.

 

Bargaining

This may involve persistent thoughts about what could have been done differently to prevent the loss. If a person doesn't work through this stage they can experience intense feelings of guilt and remorse.

 

Anger

We often feel angry when we feel helpless and powerless. Anger can also stem from a feeling of abandonment through divorce, a loved ones death or job loss.

 

Acceptance

In time we may be able to come to terms with the various feelings and accept the fact that a loss has occurred. Healing can begin once the loss becomes integrated into our life experiences.

 

Timing

There is no time limit on the grief process and everyone experiences grief in their own way and in their time frame.

 

Factors that hinder healing

Overworking oneself on the job

 

Abusing drugs, alcohol or other substances

 

Compulsive behavior

 

Avoiding emotions

 

Minimizing feelings

 

Factors that may help with healing

Allowing time to experience thoughts and feelings openly to yourself

 

Writing in a journal and expressing emotions

 

Crying can be a release

 

Confiding in others you trust about your feelings of pain and loss

 

Acknowledging and accepting both the negative and the positive feelings

 

Grief support groups

 

Seek professional help through counseling

 

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Depression

Symptoms

Feelings lasting more than two weeks:

Sadness, anxious, empty

 

Feeling hopeless or pessimistic

 

Feeling guilty, worthless or helpless

 

Not enjoying things you used to enjoy

 

Trouble with concentration, memory or making decisions

 

Sleeping too much or too little

 

Changes in appetite

 

Weight gain or weight loss

 

Feeling restless or irritable

 

Thoughts of suicide or death

 

If you have at least five of these symptoms you may be battling major depression. Seek help immediately!

 


Ecclesiastes 3: 1-4

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven; a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck what has been planted; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.